What ya doing?

As I read PG's bit about his run ins with the local element of social and commercial control this morning I knew what had to be done.

They confiscated the board because they knew what he was doing with it.

Since no one seems to know, care or even believe that you can have such a blast riding a surf mat it's best to have a story before hand.

I have been caught unprepared in the past when asked if I was surfing on an inflatable dog bed.

The funniest part of the story is, when I replied, "yes I am surfing on an inflatable dog bed" the surfer merely nodded and paddled off.

So obvious the trick here is to think up a whale of a tail to be delivered when the moment strikes.

The important thing is deliver the story with a straight face and no hint of sarcasm.

I won't be upset if you want to use the "dog bed" story. Heck if you want we could do up some t-shirts that say

"Riding inflatable dog beds since 62"

But you know we are always up for a new story here so I am asking you, dear reader, to come up with some BS story about what you are REALLY DOING with that mat! 

(Because WE know you are up to something!)

Here are a couple of pieces to get you started.

As a true American doing their share to protect our shores
No I don't surf on this thing.  I am going to paddle out, just past the surf line and check for underwater mines I put in last week to repel any foreign invaders.

Surf Trendy
Well actually this is half of an inflatable SUP. The rest of it is in the car. (A cheap shot at SUPpers I agree)

As new form of exercise
"No I'm not surfing, but if I swim around with this apparatus they say I'll lose twenty pounds and get that "mat butt" everyone is talking about. "Mat butt" is like "yoga butt" but is even more trendy. You need to follow this up by turning around and asking if they think it's working yet.

Mat as medical device
No I don't surf but I have a bad case of narcolepsy and so I keep this around for my frequent naps

We are shooting a movie up the beach and not to give any of the plot away but this (pointing to the mat) plays a starring role. (If you use this one they will be too afraid to even ask about the fins and wetsuit.)

So there you are.  

Either enter your stories of what you are really doing with that mat in the comments section or send them to me at 23breaths at hotmail dot com.


pranaglider said…
My apologies to Paul for riffing on his post. (ripping off is really more like it) Some mornings I get up with nothing in mind to post.
Ramsnake said…
1. "Is that a surf mat you are riding?"

"No mate, it's a 21st century fully shape shiftable speed machine! How come your still riding that out dated 20th century fixed shape barge?

2. "Geez, I haven't seen one of those for a long time"

"Mate, you have never seen one of these and c'mon, it's the 21st century. Why you are still riding that out dated 20th century fixed shape barge?"

3. "What the fuck is that you are riding?"

"Geez mate I can't believe you are asking me that. It's the 21st century and time you got out of that time warp!"
6ftnperfect said…
"new form of exercise" = winner

plus it's a dig at SUPs
pranaglider said…
Ramsnake, Great stuff! Nothing confuses people like the truth!

6FTnPerf - thanks, in SoCal the focys is always on the next big thing
Anonymous said…
"What is that?!"

With a big smile: "It´s fun..."

Popular Posts