Whats the best surf car, dude?

In my web log I employ various free utilities to track the comings and goings of the visitors to my site.

One of the more curious bits of info is that a significant number of visitors arrive here after running a Google query like “whats the best surf car, dude?” (To be fair I added the "Dude" part.)

I usually say that since your car and surfing have no connection that the best surf car is one that will get you to the beach. With extra points if it gets you back home again.

In the past I have written that the best transportation options are walking out the back door to the surf, walking a short distance to the surf and riding a bike a slightly longer ways to the surf.

Since so many of you still ponder this question I have decided to address it once again and report my findings.

So what makes the best surf car?

The basic requirements are to transport you and your crew along with several oddly shaped surfing apparatus (apparati?) to the beach and enjoy the sport of Hawaiian royalty.

A lot of cars fit the bill.

So obviously further rumination is required.

Are you a forward thinker perhaps of the tree hugger persuasion? If so hold on it's going to be a bumpy trip but things will turn out ok in the end, I promise.

So after many hours of deep contemplation and no small amount of time consulting with my magic 8 ball I have come to the conclusion that the perfect surf car is...

(drum roll please)

A Hummer!

The thing has to hold at least 10 people and with a roof rack and with a trailer you can bring an unlimited selection of short boards, long boards, SUPs, kayaks, small water craft of unlimited description and other sundry beach good such as grills, chairs, tents, firewood, as well as the generator for the TV, satellite dish, surround sound music system, plus air conditioning, microwaves etc.

No point in leaving all the comforts of your McMansion at home!

Of course feel free to leave that monster idling while you're in the water.
That way after you have enjoyed the surf you can hop into your toasty or air conditioned car without have to wait any time at all!

Now for (all, some, many, a few) of you from my readership who are at this point pounding the keyboard and shouting “Why Prana, Why?” let me explain.

There is no hope.

Our consumer culture is ruining the planet.

Our elected leaders are idiots.

They can't even agree that all our fellow citizens deserve basic medical care.

They will never act in favor of the planet if it in anyway conflicts with the profits of their employers.

If you think the citizens employ elected officials you aren't paying close enough attention.

I have come to the conclusion that the best way to move forward is to fast forward the conspicuous consumption process.

Simply put, that means use up all the remaining oil and petrochemical products.

The faster the better.

Hummers for everyone!

The various markets based on petrochemicals will collapse and a new chapter can begin.

After the petrochemical Apocalypse, I promise to organize an un-sponsored surf event which will feature all nude body surfing with a specially heat for anyone who remembered to save their wooden hand plane!

Stewart photo by Eric Aeder


Anonymous said…
Reduce, Reuse, Recycle!
Surfsister said…
This is a great post! I like seeing Prana throw some attitude around, especially when it's necessary.
Anonymous said…
Too much truth mixed in with the sarcasm. It hurts my heart.

My surf car is the smallest, cheapest, still gas efficent used car I could buy and still fit a surfboard inside (fold down back seats w/ 6' board) and my wife.

Had my wife a better attitude I wouldn't even need the folding back seats. The board could go in the passenger seat and she could sit in the back seats. But that would never happen.
pranaglider said…
Sorry Anon2, I cut a lot of the really sarcastic stuff out. Trying to go for facetious yet thought provoking.

PS good for you on the eco car!
Tom said…
The compressed air powered car is coming to the U.S. next year. Toss your surf mat in the front seat and quietly and emission-freely drive to the beach!


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