/*23 Breaths: Global Warming*/

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Global Warming


 We interrupt this normally scheduled posting on the 23B network for this very important announcement regarding the weather.

Greetings Citizens,
There is nothing to the vicious rumors of Global Warming or Climate Change. These are just examples of bad science being pushed by the leftist media elitists. 

The strange weather patterns we in Southern California have been experiencing are examples of  a new governmental policy of “Calendar Seasonal Re-Arrangement”. 

We just can't afford all the nice weather and seasons we have come to expect in California with the current state budget short fall.  
It's not like the Federal level where they can actually print money and the country is pretty much run for the benefit of powerful campaign contributors on Wall Street.

So to make ends meet we have had to eliminate and consolidate some of the seasons we normally take for granted.

Think of it as a lean and mean governmental weather machine.

Let's look at a few examples of how this will work.

The “summer that never was” can easily be explained by compressing the normally sunny months of July and August into an extended period of cloudiness and meager surf that is historically, the month of June. 

So in the future, no more 100 days of summer, just a 90 day period of June. 

After the June quarter, where normally we have the season of fall we will have winter. 

The warm days and chilly nights will be replaced by warmer temps, weekly rainstorms and record rain accumulations. The high pressure dome you loved for the warm days and offshore winds but hated for deflecting NW storms and swells will be saved for the season that used to be called Winter. 

Since we already had one winter and Winter Part II is a trade mark of the MGM Corporation, we will use fall as the name of the following season. We are saving tons of money on legal fees on this one decision alone. 

So far we have the seasons of Not Summer or the June quarter, followed by winter followed by fall. 

Are you with me so far? 

If not, no matter as this fall season is a short affair brought to an abrupt end by Summer – Like temperatures and maybe some off shore wind. We had some extra heat in the system and this seemed like a good place to put it. 

The next season or few seasons are as yet to be determined. We are kind of winging it here at the GCRA or Governmental Calendar Seasonal Re-Arrangement headquarters.

If you are reading this from the Great Frozen Eastern United States and are wondering WTF? We are working on a “Calendar Seasonal Re-Arrangement” for your area but currently all we have is Snow then more Snow then a garbage strike. In fact your seasonal change may turn out to be two seasons, “Snow” and “more Snow”. 

As a side note of this governmental “Calendar Seasonal Re-arrangement” the letters L, M, N, O and P will be combined into one letter LMNOP because everyone sings the alphabet song that way anyway 

But I digress. 

So in closing, Citizens never fear these changes because your elected officials have nothing but your best interests at heart. Unless of course, you live in Bell


We now return you to the normally scheduled blog post which is already in progress.

So then I said, "No it's supposed to be partially inflated!" 

Signing off until next time,

PranaG

1 comment:

Beetlejuice said...

best post ever!(anywhere!)