Things I HATE about the mat

I am a pretty introverted type of person and even if I am surfing with friends I don't spend much time talking in the water.

That's not always true but for the purposes of this rant let's assume.

I'm surfing and I focus on that. Plenty of time to talk later.

Also I'm blind as a bat and I need to pay attention.

So I'll be floating along, or paddling my head off or whatever and some well meaning surf dude will say "I used to ride a mat like that back in the 60's".

Now I know this is just how normal people "strike up a conversation" etc. but for me, let's just say I am way too literal.

The first thing I have to do is explain that I too surfed the blue and yellow mats when I was a kid and it was a blast.

You would drag (there was a rope handle), paddle and push those suckers as far out as the walled up south swell in Huntington would allow you and you would wait.

A huge set would come in hit you and you would freight train straight in toward the beach.

Running over everyone in your path. It was fun and I enjoyed it.

But in NO WAY are they like the mat I am riding at the moment.

Now out of the water I can talk about these things non stop for days.

But not in the water.

I spend my days literally trapped in tall office buildings dreaming of the next time I can get into the water.

So dude I don't have time to compete your hydrodynamic education while we wait for a set, which even though I am in position for, you will take off on me anyway.

Because I'm on a mat.

Other than that, I'm good...


Unknown said…
"blind as a bat"

thanks for the tip...

but my question is, do you have that sonar location that they use also? and if so, are you even more blind if you're wearing a hood?
23 Breaths said…
Indeed BAAB (blind as a bat)! I do wear a hood (right ear drilled twice and the left is 98% blocked) in addition to ear plugs so the sonar thing isn't even working for me. It's all muscle memory and Braille at this point.
Anonymous said…
Paddle out on a mid-6 to 7' hull or eggy single and everyone in the line-up will comment on your "nice fun shape".
This usually warrants little more than a sigh, but sometimes I can't help myself and state that I wouldn't ride any shape unless it was fun.
pranaglider said…
Anon, So sad yet so true. It seems everyone on the net is into these shapes and then I go surf and it's logs and tri fins! Not that there is anything wrong with that but it's not the only game in town.
Nash said…
Sounds like you letting yourself be someone's door-mat.
Quiver said…
I have a solution, surf when/where nobody else is around. First light, late dusk, remote spot that's actually kinda crappy. That's the kinda surfing I tend to do and I'm normally happy when someone is around because it means there's someone to call the ambulance if a shark gets frisky.

Or you can not make eye contact with anyone else and pretend like you don't hear anyone when they talk to you. Kinda like the "locals" do on the weekend.
borntoloser said…
Things I hate about the mat-

Looking like a seal. (Cue Jaws theme)

I'll be riding the 11' eagle tomorrow!
Unknown said… wouldn't have been at a certain rivermouth area this
23 Breaths said…
quiver - funny thing is I do surf early at the crappy place. In Huntington even those places are crowded.
pranaglider said…
Kaser - Yes, the Mrs. and I visited my favorite beach.

I must complement you on your network of spies and agents!

I thought I was in below the radar.

I would have called ahead for a hall pass but it was an impromptu thing ... everywhere was flat.

To my surprise it was over head (on the mat) and such fun that I went back for a second helping on Sun.
pranaglider said…
Someone mentioned to me that the eaziest way out of this is to have Dale make a blue and yellow mat with a rope in the front. When someone mentions that they rode one "like that" I could just say "yep!" and paddle away! Simple is always better.
Beetlejuice said…
(The old days)Blue and Yellow mat inflated to the popping point, at overhead,walled Big Corona, air dropping while running over the bobbing heads of summer. Fun times.
Unknown said…
nobody hits the water 100yrds north or south of HQ without me knowing it. i have active agents in the lineup and a sniper on tower R awaiting my signal. summer is coming, and my men are ready.
23 Breaths said…
Kaser1 - All hard wired into your underground lair? I can just see it..."Command we have an unauthorized mat rider near lifeguard station 12. He riding a Neumatic with duckfeet and sir, he has one of his flippers on upside down. We have tone, repeat we have tone, do we have permission to fire sir?..."
Unknown said…
23b-my van may look ghetto, but it actually serves as the command center. All of my satellite tracking, sonar, radar, audio serviellance, NORAD, and AWAX deployment is linked up from there. I had the power lines removed from Seashore Dr. because they were causing interferrence with my communication with the sniper on tower "R". He accidentally took out a couple sea lions this winter. You may have seen them in some of my older photos.
23 Breaths said…
K1 - Just as I always suspected...

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