simultaneously off and on, like schrodinger's internet connection

 I really should be out selling frozen cod cakes with a face like this

After a busy couple of days doing my best to stand upright,  

I once again attempted to connect with the real world by turning on the TV.

Big mistake

Maybe I should have read a newspaper first 

I was simultaneously sickened and appalled yet unable to look away

During a brief break in the programing, 

an episode of Jeopardy?

I made my escape

only to find myself all out of loose brick

Fortunately the damn thing has a off switch