What are you REALLY doing with that mat?

Two things about this picture. 
First, my brother Bob had a David Nuuhiwa mini gun just like that.
Bitchin' board, I wonder what happened to it? 
Second, where did that Marine get those sunglasses? That's not issue.

What are you REALLY doing with that mat?

Since no one seems to know, care, or even entertain the notion that in all the universes,
that it's possible that you can have a blast riding a surf mat

I think it's best to have a story before hand.

I have been caught unprepared in the past when asked if I was surfing on an inflatable dog bed.

True story

The funniest part is, when I replied, "yes I am surfing on an inflatable dog bed" the surfer merely nodded knowingly and paddled off.

You get all kinds on the south side...

So obvious the trick here is to think up a whale of a tail to be delivered when the moment strikes.

The important thing is to deliver the story with a straight face and no hint of sarcasm.

I won't be upset if you want to use the "dog bed" story.

Heck if you want we could do up some t-shirts that say

"Riding inflatable dog beds since 62"

But you know we are always up for a new story here at 23B

so I am asking you 

dear reader 

to come up with some BS story 

about what are you REALLY DOING with that mat! 

Because WE know YOU are up to SOMETHING!

Here are a couple of pieces to get you started.

As a true American doing their share to protect our shores

No I don't surf on this thing.  I am going to paddle out just past the surf line and check on the underwater mines I put in last week to repel any foreign invaders.

Surf Trendy

Well actually this is half of an inflatable SUP. The rest of it is in the car. 

A cheap shot at SUPpers, I agree

As new form of exercise

"No I'm not surfing, but if I paddle around on this apparatus they say I'll lose twenty pounds and get that "mat butt" everyone is talking about. "Mat butt" is like "yoga butt" but is even more trendy. You will need to follow this up by turning around and asking if they think it's working yet.

Mat as medical device

No I don't surf but I have a bad case of narcolepsy and so I keep this around for my frequent naps

Pornographic

We are shooting a movie up the beach and not to give any of the plot away but this (pointing to the mat) plays a starring role. (If you use this one they will be too afraid to even ask about the fins and wetsuit.)

So there you are.  

Enter your stories of what 

you are really doing with that mat 

in the comments section

Maybe the shirts should say 

What are you 

REALLY DOING 

with that mat?